It's okay to...

I think sometimes we all need a little reminder that it's okay to not be perfect. I often get dragged down by who other people think I should be and what they think is right and what isn't. I think it's important to sometimes set your own values of what you think is okay and what isn't. So if like me you've been having a hard time lately at the expectations of others, hopefully this will give you some assurance.

It's okay to...

It's okay to ignore words like 'should' and 'must'. Somebody else's 'shoulds' and 'musts' are just that - theirs! Don't adopt them if they aren't right for you.

It's okay to lie in sometimes. Not everyone is built to be wide awake and singing at 7am. If you don't have to be up until 10am then don't feel like you 'should' be up just because other people are.

Equally it's okay to stay up after 10pm if you aren't tired. You don't have to go to bed then just because that's when society says you 'should'

It's okay to say you're busy when you're not if you don't want to go somewhere. Sometimes a white lie is kinder than the truth. However, if it's a good friend you could just tell them it's not for you or you're not up to it.

Equally it's okay to turn down social invitations in favour of some 'me time'. Somtimes we all need to charge our batteries, do the laundry, clear out the cupboard... Don't be afraid to take time out for yourself and your home.

It's okay to dislike the latest trend. Just because all your friends love that new indie band doesn't mean you 'should'.

It's okay to go against your parent's wishes. Now this is a toughie, especially if you're particularly close with your family, someone in the family is ill, you have a strong 'resepect your elders' at all times imprint, or if that's where your shelter is or where money is involved. However, you do not have to be a lawyer/doctor/footballer/actress just because you parents said so. It may feel like they own you but you are your own person and life is too short to live someone else's dream. Live your own dream.

This brings me nicely onto it's okay to not have a dream. Not everyone grows up knowing what they want to do. Some of us have been through university and still don't know. Some people are married with children and a mortgage and four pets before they realise their dream. Some people may never discover theirs. The best thing is to just try and work out what you like and what you're good at and go from there. However, not everyone can have an amazing career where the sky is the limit. Maybe your role in life won't be a high flying executive role in the big smoke, but instead you are an amazing housekeeper, mother, priest, writer or artist. We are brought up in modern times with the imprint of success, money, career, university, office jobs etc... Despite what your teachers or your parents or your boss will tell you, having a good job or career is not the most important thing in life. Being a good friend, finding something that you're passionate about, finding someone to love who will love you back... These are the things that make a good life.

It's okay to hate exercise. Some of us do. When people boast about their latest performance at the gym just remind them you're £40 richer a month and have found the time to do all your laundry, cleaning and food shopping. If they keep calling you a lazy whatnot because you haven't got a six pack, cut them out your life and tell them it's because you can't be friends with someone who is constantly covered in oil and wearing lycra.